Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash

i usedta to do vulnerability so well —

sharing my heart without being prompted.

giving the benefit of doubt:

my doubt.

their benefit.

making questions of what my heart knew for sure.

seeing the bigger picture at the expense of my ringing ears,

vulnerability was my thing.

dancing to some imagined tune, though this dance was never my own.

fighting for what was long dead because my mama said:

“we don’t give up on people.”

maybe i was never vulnerable.

maybe vulnerability is measured by what i poured into my own cup.

my cup is empty.

was empty.

i usedta to do vulnerability so well —

now some days —

somedays:

it feels like a burden, a strike against me.

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jeremy o’brian

jeremy o’brian

jeremy o’brian is a writer and co-host of the blk queer tarot inspired podcast “to whom this may affirm.”